So you’ve had a great first date but what do you do next? This is a marathon, not a race. You don´t want to scare her off after such a successful first date. Keep your cool, play it cool and she will think you are cool.
The excitement of what comes next can send some of us over the edge. To ensure you don´t make any wrong moves or take any wrong turns, we have pulled together a few tips on what to do after an awesome first date.
Phone a friend
You get home from this awesome first date. You catch yourself thinking that she could be the one. It´s at this moment you realise your vulnerability in the situation. It´s time to get back to reality and reassert some expectations: it´s time to phone a friend.
Calling up a friend after a date is a great way to reflect on your evening, meaning you don´t have too much time to spend in your own head. It gives you a chance to talk through what went well, what didn´t and will help you to understand your feelings a little better. Your friends will also always give you an honest and objective opinion based on what you have told them. After all, who knows your dating history better than your friends?
Debriefing with a friend and taking time to reflect on the date properly can be really helpful in gaining a bit of perspective on your night, since sometimes we can get so caught up the moment and make judgements too quickly.
Resist the urge to text them aimlessly or excessively. First of all – sleep on it. Sometimes a cute hope you got home safe text is nice, but some people find it a bit needy so make your own judgement there.
Don´t fall into the trap of texting too soon either – but how do you know when is the right time to text her? The answer is easy: when you have something interesting to say. One of the most common passion killers in dating someone new is over-texting and this becomes apparent when speaking to them becomes a bit of a burden. Further down the line, this is okay. Now, it´s not. Now is the time to keep things interesting – you need to sell yourself as someone that this girl needs to commit herself to.
A good place to start is by making plans for your next date. You should aim to keep the momentum after an awesome first date, but three-four days is recommended in between. When you do take the plunge and ask when she is free, be sure to make a suggestion (e.g., dinner and drinks somewhere specific) and give her the chance to decline. There is nothing worse than agreeing to see someone and doing something you would really rather not. She is way more likely to cancel at the last minute.
One important rule for what not to do after an awesome first date is to sext them. It´s rude, it´s assuming and it usually detracts from the great first date you´ve just had. Even if there was an overwhelming sexual chemistry between the two of you on said date, this is not an invitation to sext her. First and foremost, she might not be a sexter – some of us just aren´t into it. The rest of us will be open to some light hearted and playful remarks thrown in now and again, but full blown sexting after a first date is a big fat no.
Stop looking for signs
Don´t try to read between the lines – you don´t know her well enough yet. If you haven´t heard from her, she is probably busy. If she can´t see you on Thursday, she is probably busy. Overthinking things leads to problems and after an awesome first date, problems are what you should be avoiding. No dating experience is ever as smooth as we would hope, but if you keep trying to ´figure her out´ based on what you remember from the first date and what you´re getting from her via text, the whole thing will just be a disaster. It´s okay to spend time reflecting on any red flags, but if you find yourself overanalyzing you need to occupy yourself with something else.
Do not stalk their social media
One of the best and worst things about social media is how easy it is to track down and connect with people. However, when it comes to dating, the best advice anyone can give is to stay away. If you´re already connected on social media, fine – no issues. But if this was a first date (a blind date, a Tinder date etc.) you are going to want to get to know them for who they are in real life. Your relationship isn´t going to be online, neither should your first impressions. More often than not, someone´s social media personality is different to their real life one and there are probably things you won´t want to see there anyway (e.g., ex-lovers).
Spread your eggs
Don´t keep them all in one basket – keep in touch with other potential lovers because you never know if this is going to work out based on one awesome date alone.
What to do after an awesome first date then? Be yourself but give them space, and let things evolve naturally.
Have any other suggestions?